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EllwoodCity.org’s Wide World of Weekend News provides readers with weird, but true news stories gathered from around the world along with brief commentary from various EllwoodCity.org writers.  Have you own commentary to a story?  Submit a post to Sound Off! and let your voice be heard.

Animal Packers
June 26, 2009

What do a woman from New Mexico and a fifteen-year-old boy from Colorado have in common? An unhealthy animal-hoarding obsession.

Nancy Haseman, of Rio Rancho New Mexico, began “rescuing” rabbits twelve years ago, when she took in an abandoned rabbit. After the first, it was hard for her to stop, and she took in more and more rabbits. Haseman further helped the rescued bunnies by giving them a romantic environment in which to procreate.

Hasemen was cited for possessing 334 rabbits, while the New Mexico ordinance allows five pets per household. The animals were rescued from their rescuer.

The fifteen year old Colorado boy, on the other hand, offered no reason for his animal hoarding. The boy took 53 baby birds from neighborhood nests, and kept them in his bedroom. The boy and his friends tried to feed the baby birds, but to no success. Forty of the baby birds died, while the other 13 are expected to survive.

Crop Circle Mystery Solved
June 26, 2009

What do you get when you cross some wallabies with opium fields? Crop circles. Tasmania has 49,420 acres of lush opium fields that are used for the production of pharmaceuticals, and recreational drugs for the wildlife.

Reports have been released stating that livestock and wildlife ingest the poppy plants and behave strangely; the animals get high and walk in circles.

Lately, farmers have been having a hard time with wallabies getting into their fields and eating the plants. Once the opium hits, they start bouncing around in circles, trampling the plants, and producing crop circles.

BFUI
June 26, 2009

Stacey Anvarinia, of North Dakota, pled guilty to BFUI charges filed against her.

On April 13, officers responding to a domestic disturbance call found Anvarinia breast-feeding under the influence. The twenty-six year old woman was breast-feeding her six-week-old baby while drunk.

Anvarinia pled guilty to child neglect, and could face up to five years in prison.

First Zero-Gravity Wedding
June 26, 2009

Wedding season is in bloom, and people are getting more out there than ever.

Erin Finnegan (no relation to Michael Finnegan, who had whiskers on his chin-egan) and Noah Fulmor exchanged their vows while floating in a zero gravity aircraft above the Gulf of Mexico.

The two enjoyed an un-romantic ceremony while floating in a padded zero gravity aircraft. Hitting one another, unable to control their movements, and slipping up the kiss, Mr. and Mrs. Fulmor were the first couple to be wed in zero gravity conditions.

The most beautiful statement from the bride was: "Noah knocked into my nose and I thought it would bleed."